Passages...

My mother-in-law and I holding hands recently.

 My mother-in-law passed away the day before Mother's Day.  Carey was with her.  Interestingly, he was also the only one with his father when he past, also the day before a holiday.  It's hard to let an anniversary slip quietly by when you have that kind of reminder.

Carey's mother was a lovely woman.  She raised five wonderful children, of whom I won the best.  :)  She always smiled when I told her that.

Sometimes it was hard for me to be on my best behavior (as I felt I had to do) for the entire length of visits.  My best friend once told me to just pick up my purse and go shopping...that they would appreciate the alone time with Carey and the kids, while I took a break anywhere else.  That was very sound advice.  :)

We had completely different mindsets in the beginning.  The Cleavers were to Carey's family as The Honeymooners were to mine.  (They might disagree, but I don't see it.)  When I was a newlywed, my mother-in-law gifted me postage stamps once.  I knew she would like to hear from us more often, but writing a letter took me all day and into the night, and it still left room for misinterpretation; we just weren't on the same wavelength.  And I decided Carey could use the postage stamps, but I don't think he ever did.  I still sent letters and photographs, but probably not as often as would have been desired.  

However when I became a grandmother, I softened.  I appreciated her more.  I made sure that I wrote and sent photographs, and when the children were old enough to write, I made sure they sent letters.  They are very good letter writers now.  They don't do it often, but they know how to start, how to share news, and how to close with affection.

She appreciated that a great deal.  She always answered each of their letters, and receiving an answering letter made them want to write again.  It felt like my m-i-l and I were partners in teaching the children these things.  We both took great satisfaction in it.

She also appreciated the things I did like sending cards to her that I crafted with her favorite colors and flowers, birds, and butterflies.  I made her things that took her needs in mind.  I tried to gift her things that would be useful without taking up space or needing dusting.  Until almost the end she was still using the 'scarves' I made that could be spread across the front of her top during mealtime to serve as an inconspicuous bib, and the walker caddies that kept keys and water bottles (etc.) at hand when she was on the move.

Her funeral service was on Wednesday.  It was so good to gather with the whole family.  She would have loved it.  We had been planning a big party for her 90th birthday in 2020, and Covid made it impossible.  Then it became harder and harder for her to participate in large gatherings, so we all made individual trips as we could.

She was tired of living with constant pain, and ready to go home.  She was a shining example, and I'm going to miss her so much.

2024 Frugal Friday File, May 17...

 

1.  Learned to make homemade hummus.  WOW!  Way less expensive than store bought.

2.  Found five "new" $3 shirts for Carey at Goodwill.

3.  Found a dress and wedges in my closet suitable for this week's family gathering.  First time I've had to wear a dress in quite awhile, so lucky it fit and was somewhat still in style.

4.  Received an impromptu gift from Beau and Kasey, that he installed for us and taught us how to use.  May enable us to "cut the cord."

5.  Mother's Day gift from Kasey and Beau will improve our wi-fi coverage in far parts of the house, and again will be installed by them.

On the menu this week:

Saturday:  grazed the fridge

Sunday:  Mothers Day Sunday supper at Kasey & Beau's

Monday:  Tortellini Pasta Salad with Chicken/Vegetables

Tuesday:  Spanish Rice

Wednesday:   big lunch, no supper

Thursday:  Sausage and Rice, with green beans

Friday:  leftovers

**designates meatless meal

What I'm reading Wednesday...

 

Nightwatching by Tracy Sierra

I saw this when I was watching the Tonight Show.  Jimmy Fallon seemed really excited about it.  Am I the last person to know he has a book club?  I logged on to the library's website to see if they had it, and sure enough, they did, and it was on the shelf and ready to pick up the next day.  

Jimmy (Fallon...I just call him Jimmy) said that it was the kind of book you shouldn't read if you were home alone.  I took him at his word, so I waited till today to start it.

Keeping the momentum going...

 
As usual, I forgot to take the before photo till I had already started clearing out.  
Terrible photo, but the hallway is very narrow.

I have gotten so much done during the past few days, and I've taken great pleasure at marking each task off my list as it was completed.  Since my post last Thursday about what I got done in that one day, I have kept at it.  I swear I have done more laundry in the past few days than I have in the past few months...I stopped counting at eleven loads.  And every single load was immediately folded or hung up and put away

I've cleaned out the refrigerator, then refilled it after planning the week's menu and ordering groceries.  

I have cleaned and descaled my countertop ice maker.

Both guest rooms have fresh linen, and are somewhat guest ready...if you consider that anyone who spends the night in my house either loves me enough not to care about a little clutter or can feel free not to return.  :)

I've completed my Cologuard test and shipped it back.

I've filled up the car with gasoline.

I've emptied the linen closet.

I moved all of its content to a clean guest bed (and a chair which isn't seen in the photo above), and went through every single item and filled two large boxes with things to donate...mostly sheet sets I didn't remember having and were not needed any longer, a number of sets of pillowcases still in their packages, a factory-made quilt that I only used for a Christmas tree skirt on occasion and even then didn't love, and seasonal kitchen towels that I always forgot to put in the kitchen during those seasons.  I've dropped off the donations at Goodwill.  

While I was there, I picked up five polo shirts for Carey that have front pockets (his preference).  Ones with pockets are hard to find new, but I found five in his size (including one from LL Bean and one from Land's End) that all looked nice and only very lightly worn, and were marked $6.99, but when I got to the register they were each $3.  Yay!  

Oh, from the linen closet I also found three packages of 100% cotton cloth napkins.  When I went to Kasey's for Mother's Day dinner, I took two of them with me, and talked with my grandchildren about how earth friendly cloth is over paper.  These were very well made, can just be tossed in with a load of towels to launder, and will basically last a lifetime.  Both sets were snagged by grandchildren.  

I also found cloth diapers that both of my children wore 40+ years ago, along with a few baby washcloths, and bibs that were my favorites as a mom.  I'll wait a few years before we have another talk about eco-friendly and sustainable products for babies before I offer these up.  :)

As if these items weren't enough, I found one additional item that came as a complete surprise!

We've lived in this house for fourteen years now, and neither Carey nor I had the least memory of there being an electrical outlet at the back of one of the shelves!  As seen above, I plugged in a lamp, and there was power.  I already have a new plan for this shelf.

I only got all of this accomplished, because Carey was away from home.  These are the kinds of projects that I used to do while he was away at work for a week at a time, and so not around to see the "worse before it gets better" parts of the projects.  Though I still have some final work to do in the linen closet, he missed all the chaos.

I'll show the closet 'after' photo eventually.  This week is going to be a very busy one in other ways.

May 13th is International Hummus Day...

Making hummus is something I've been meaning to try for a long time.  I decided International Hummus Day was a good reason to get it done.  

This is my Sunbeam Oscar food processor from the '80s.  It's very small, and just fit this one-can-of-chickpeas recipe.

1 can of chickpeas (aka: garbanzo beans)

3 Tbsp olive oil

3 Tbsp tahini

1 1/2 Tblsp lemon juice

1 clove of garlic

1/2 tsp of salt (or to taste)

1/4tsp of ground black pepper (or to taste)

It was great!  Now I can't wait to make it again and maybe experiment with adding and/or adjusting ingredients.

2024 Frugal Friday File, May 10...

 

1.  I had to cancel my trip to see my friend.  Too many questions surrounding mother-in-law right now.  Thankfully I had purchased a refundable ticket.  Happily it was refunded more easily and quickly than I expected.  I will reschedule, but nice to have the money in the bank in the meantime.

2.  The traveling to be with m-i-l isn't cheap, but we were able to keep purchased meals to one a day.  Being sure to eat a good, filling and free breakfast at the hotel.  Even at home we quite often only eat twice a day, so it wasn't a hardship.  Carey also made sure to fill his insulated coffee tumbler at the hotel.

3.  When we returned home, the cupboard was pretty bare.  I made a pasta salad from things on hand in the fridge, and a can of salmon from the pantry.  We ate it, but nobody wants me to make it again.

4.  I went to the office for online training on a new software the company is switching over to.  I got paid for the training hours, and now I can continue to fill in as needed.  Money in.

5.  I've lost weight since retiring without even trying.  I think it's due to less eating out, and healthier home cooking.  I tried on a few nice tops that have been hanging in the closet for quite awhile without being worn due to the fit, and they fit comfortably again.  "New" work clothes without a price tag.  Yay!

My To-Do list...

This is my To-Do List.  Each page is meant to be for a week's use.  I made this one myself (and had it spiral bound), because I wanted regular items printed on there instead of having to handwrite the whole thing from scratch each week.  I also wanted to make it cute, because it makes me happier to look at if it's pretty.  Each month is a different color scheme...May's colors are purples for Mother's Day.

Last night I was reading blogs, and, as so often happens, I found a spark of inspiration at The Boomer Girl's Guide.  Juhli's posts always make me think or spur me to action.  Last night she mentioned her To-Do List, and it reminded me that I had seen mine recently in an odd place, so I directly went and retrieved it before I forgot where it was.  For years I used it religiously, but have fallen out of the habit since retirement.  Last night I made a list for today before I read myself to sleep.

Mostly what I wanted to work on today was clutter-filled boxes in the guest room, doing laundry, and changing bed linens, which meant even more laundry.  Currently my 6th (!) load of laundry is in the dryer.  The guest room bed linens have been washed down to the mattress, and the bed has been freshly made up again.  The down blanket and a comforter have been washed and dried, and now they are lying flat on the bed with the ceiling fan on directly over them to help dry any residual dampness before folding them and storing away.

I have emptied one box filled with old medical info (all that remains of my birthday broken shoulder in 2022, well that and the diminished range of motion), LTC insurance info, Medicare supplement insurance info and other equally dreaded documents.  I've shredded and thrown away and filed.  I've Swiffered.  I've moved my out-of-season clothes to the guest closet.  

I'm too pooped to pop!  It was 96° here today.  We are supposed to have storms overnight, and only be in the 80s for the next couple of days.  I am about to make my to-do list for tomorrow, carrying over what I didn't do today, and adding some other new chores.  Hopefully I can keep the momentum going. 

What I'm reading Wednesday...

Striking Range: A Timber Creek K-9 Mystery

by Margaret Mizushima

I just finished this one.  This series is where I turn when I need an escape.  The characters are very likable.  The relationship between the sheriff deputy and her K-9 partner keeps me coming back. (Probably because Robo is SO well trained and well behaved, and Rudy...well...isn't.  I mean Rudy DOES know he has to sit in his bed until we finish our ice cream if he wants to lick the bowls.  And even though he repeatedly tries to inch closer to us before we are done, it only takes a look or a hand motion and he does an adorable little moonwalk backward to his bed.  But I digress.)  

This one is number seven of a series of nine (so far), and I eek them out, saving them for when I really need a break from a hard read (like The Alienist I finished just before this one) or life overwhelms me (like all the traveling we have been doing to be with, and help out with, Carey's mom as she is now on hospice).  This series takes me out into the mountains and fresh air on horseback.  I highly recommend the series.  They can be read as stand alone, but since the characters lives progress and relationships develop, I would recommend they be read in order.

The Music Shop by Rachel Joyce

Just started this one.  It is by the author of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry which I loved.